


All I Want Is You

by OverlordWaffles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Demigods, Drugged Sex, Dubious Consent, Fuck Or Die, Heavy Angst, Hunt Gone Wrong, Hurt Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:11:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1424674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlordWaffles/pseuds/OverlordWaffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam team up with another hunter to take down a demi-god obsessed with male sexual organs that is responsible for a series of violent suicides that caught the attention of the local newspaper. Finding a ritual equal parts humiliating and weird, the three hunters try to summon the thing to take it down. When it latches on to their new hunting companion, Dean pays the price and has to face the aftermath of the demi-gods venomous kiss with Castiel's help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want Is You

Dean and Sam couldn't believe this was their life. Really? This? This was just getting plain old creepy. 

"Well, I hope you boys don't mind dick." The new hunter laughed, face tight with the uncomfortable hilarity of the whole situation. There had been a series of nearly identical suicides happening across the county in lower North Carolina. The only clue they had gotten on how to find the creature involved was that the series of men killed had all had interactions with a single local company that was involved in helping with the ever humiliating issue of penis enlargement. 

"Dude..." Dean said, staring helplessly at the kits the other male had bought for them. This whole situation was uncomfortable and too intimate for his liking, especially since they were working with an unknown hunter. "You've got to be kidding." He picked up the box and looked at the back, face going suddenly scarlet red as he saw the picture on the back highlighting the instructions and the end results.

Sam scowled at the matching box, glancing sidelong to Dean at the openly embarrassed expression his brother was expressing. Dean looked almost shy, which was weird in itself. His brother had never been one to shy away from sexual jokes or walking around near naked in the motel rooms. He’d seen his brother’s dick more times than he wanted from the constant close proximity growing up, and the sheer cockiness of Dean’s whole demeanor.. "Are you sure this is the only way?" 

"Unless you want to cut off your dicks, than yah. Only way to summon this baddie." The handsome asian male smirked, far too at ease with this whole situation. He was tall, a hair taller than Dean but still shorter than Sam. He was lean, thin like Sam without the broad shoulders that made Sam look so much larger. He had short, thick hair that achingly reminded Dean of Castiel’s messy mop. His eyes were thin, and dark, with thick lashes and eyebrows. He had a wide smile and thin lips and a confident, stylish air to himself. He was a hunter, but as Dean and Sam had found out already, he'd come from big money. His uncle had been killed by a wendigo when they were out camping. He'd been working the occasional case along the east coast, keeping his area clear of the big bads ever since. 

His eyes lingered on Sam before jumping to Dean, his smirk growing at the other males flushed expression. He licked his lips and darted his eyes down Dean's form before letting out a small huff of laugh to himself. "I'm gonna go get mine set." He said as he grabbed his room keys from the motel room table, his room right next door. "Have fun, boys." He winked at Dean as he left. He’d been flirting with Dean almost nonstop since they run into each other on a crime scene, the slightly younger male taking to Dean with an over persistence that made Sam wonder why Dean even kept allowing the flirty interaction. He usually shot down any guy that made the mistake of sidling up to him at a bar. 

Dean groaned, grabbing his box and walking towards the bathroom with a glare back at Sam. "You better be quick." He snarled over his shoulder, eyes fierce, locking away a storm of emotion this whole situation brought up that he didn't think Sam would understand, and that he couldn’t talk about. Everything about this whole case was too sexual and too slimy and he still couldn’t get his mind wrapped around what he was about to do in order to summon a damn monster.. 

Over half an hour later the two brother finally had their...penis replicas set and ready to go. And if that wasn’t one of the weird things Dean had ever done before. Dean had thrown his into a plastic bag, refusing to acknowledge it was a thing that existed. He didn’t want to go flaunting around a glorified dildo. Definitely not in front of Sam, and not in front of some hunter he barely knew that was clearly interested in the whole situation. They just needed the material to set for a day  in the mold before they'd be ready to go completely. The fact that he'd had to be erect to make it work was humiliating enough, but having an exact replica of his cock, full mast, to sacrifice to a demon creature was making him twitchy and frustrated. How was this not just asking for trouble? What kind of sex crazed monster accepted sacrifices of peoples dicks? That got off on knowing exactly how a man’s genitals looked? It was wrong, and Dean wanted nothing to do with it. 

He left the motel without a word to Sam, who was just as quiet about the whole process, face shut off as he watched Dean leave. He didn’t have to ask to know if Dean was okay. There was something more than just the weirdness of the case that was making Dean act like he was caged in.

\---

The next day the three men met up together again at a dinner a block from the motel. James Kim confidently settled the bag with his own replica on the table top, purposefully meeting Dean's eyes as he dropped the bag on the table, the noticeable "plop" sound making color dust Dean's freckled cheeks, drawing a glare from him as he pointedly ignored the bag that sat across from him. It was obvious to Sam that James was trying to rile Dean up, get a reaction from him. for James’ sake, Sam hoped Dean would just ignore it all. 

They ate in a tense silence, finally talking about the upcoming mission over the last bites of their meal. Sam had found a location that was suitable for the summoning ritual they had to perform, and would be easy to monitor. It was a small abandoned warehouse outside of town, on the edge of a commercial and residential community. It was a single level, with only two entrances in and out, and an open, clear dirt floor with scraps of older machine parts scattered about. Dean would drive them out later tonight, and they'd set up around sunset, as per requested of the spell. They'd figured out through James' research and some extra digging from Dean that the monster they were searching for was in fact a sex crazed demi-god known for luring in young men and tormenting them with their sexual inadequacy. Turn Shen. The thing was obsessed with male genitals and lured in men with promises of helping them fix their sex lives. Facing the modern world, this demi-god seemed to take up luring men in with an online website and false store that promised to make dreams come true. The men that had died were found with a variety of genital issues, wounds, or other sexual related injuries. The demi-god would take what it wanted and then leave a small trace amount of toxins that ate at the mind and drove the men to suicide within a week of the assault. They'd found only one method to attract the beast without being lured into its trap.

The day passed with a weird tension, Dean pacing like a wild tiger, Sam and James collaborating on other east coast going-ons that they'd missed in their own adventures closer to home at the bunker and farther north. 

Finding themselves at the warehouse, Dean scouted the location with a flurry of energy, unable to sit still as the other two set up their makeshift alter. He cleared the area of debris, made sure the exits were clear and warded and salted, ready for anything. Sam didn't comment, hoping that whatever happened he could talk to Dean about it after. He waved away James' curious looks and let his brother do his thing. They had enough to worry about. Beyond the spell, they weren’t one hundred percent on anything else concerning the demi-god. Their best guess was head shot with a purified bullet, or an iron blade to the heart. The main concern was that this thing was known to appear ghost like, incorporeal. 

"Okay. Game time, boys." James purred, looking to the pile of replicas in their bags at their feet on the outer edge of the spray painted circle they weren't even sure would contain this thing. James grabbed the bags and unceremoniously shook the contents from the bags, eyeing the two brother's contributions. He let out a little huff of acknowledgement, nodding to himself as he took in the obviousness of their endowments. Proportionally appropriate for both their builds. Very nice. His own sat prettily among the pile, acceptably endowed considering the stereotypes. 

Sam sighed, ignoring the pile of rubber, lighting three candles around the circle of other materials, chanting out the Latin they'd found to summon the thing. There was nothing for a few minutes and then suddenly the three replicas began to float, rising in the air within the circle of other ingredients.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dean groaned, eying the hovering dildos, face set in a snarl where he stood on the outer ring of the circle, letting Sam take the lead with this project. 

Suddenly a dark grey shape formed on the other side of the altar, thick and inky looking, grabbing one of the false dildos from the air and lunging for Sam before any of the hunters could react. The form threw Sam to the ground hard, using powers to pull the earthen floor into hardened cuffs around Sam's wrists, shoving the false replica into his mouth in one go, overpowering Sam's struggling. Before James or Dean could react to the violation occurring feet from them, the figure was forming a muzzle of earth over Sam's mouth to keep the false length in his throat. It stood quickly, forming more of a recognizable human shape as it took in the two standing hunters, blocking them from Sam on the ground.

Dean gaped openly, eying Sam’s twisting form on the floor where he was scrabbling to get his hands free of the unnatural cuffs, face flushed with embarrassment and shame from the indignity of it all. 

It's eyes instantly settled on Dean, black mouth forming a ghostly smile as its hollow formless eyes took in the hunter. "Dean Winchester." It purred in a sickly voice, swaying in the still air. "What a delight." It whispered. Suddenly lunging towards James, its smoke like form twisted around his side as it curled around him, wrapping his limbs tight against his sides, eyes still on Dean. "I never dreamed I'd have the chance to meet you in person, and to think you set everything up so nicely for me. Even gave me an unmarked vessel to inhabit as I take my fill of you." 

James struggled, staring in horror at Dean as Sam lashed on the floor, trying to break his bonds, his face red with the struggle to breath, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth as he stared at the scene besides him, unable to help. "Dean! Run!" James hissed, struggling to break free as the thing twisted tighter.

Dean hardly got a moment to take it all in as the smoky form sank into James' body with a jerk of limbs. Once brown eyes turned shockingly red, James’ face twisting as he turned on Dean, a sickly smirk twisting already flirtatious lips into something ugly. "Oh." The thing purred in a lower voice than James', stretching it's limbs experimentally. "This one liked you almost as much as I do." It laughed darkly, moving forward towards Dean.

With a helpless look to Sam on the floor, Dean knew he had to run. He had to get away before he could help Sam. The direct threat to him was far more dangerous knowing what they knew of the ring of suicides. It took one look, and he knew Sam understood, was desperate for him to flee. His eyes screamed the words James had begged of him moments ago. Dean turned on his heel and fled, running as fast as he could. He could feel the creature at his back, using James’ form to chase him out of the building and through the streets. He couldn't risk the time to get in the impala, so he darted towards the city, hoping to find somewhere to hide and collect himself. 

He ran nonstop for at least twenty minutes, his legs burning as he pushed himself to his limit. He had put a little distance between himself and the thing possessing James, but as he turned a corner he was tackled to the ground, crashing to the cement with a pained yelp as his knees and ankles buckled under him and crashed into the ground roughly. They’d be bruised and swollen in the morning, and would make walking a bitch. Before he could figure out what just happened, who had grabbed him, he was being twisted onto his back on the ground by big bear like hands, James' form standing over him as he came to a stop over Dean. A pale red eyed man seemed to sway behind Dean, pinning him down with the power of the demi-god’s will behind him, face blank but body heavy and grip unwavering.

"I'm impressed." Turn Shen purred, dropping to the ground around Dean's waist, wrapping long fingered hands around Dean's throat as the newcomer held his arms down with unnatural strength. There would be more bruises on his arms where the possessed man was gripping. "You're fast." He put pressure on Dean's throat, leaning down and whispering lips over Dean's as he choked off his air supply. "You'll be the most fun yet, giving me so many toys to play with tonight, too. I just love toys. Love using them on my victims, love looking at my collection. And tonight you gave me three, THREE, wonderful specimens." 

Dean gasped, legs scrambling against the weight of James’ body on his thighs, fingers twisting uselessly as his body jerked against the threat, trying to pull in air to his already laboring lungs. He stared up at James' face with fear glittering in his eyes, terror coursing through his veins as he looked into the face of the monster, vision dotting with black as he became quickly lightheaded. It was too strong, too manipulative. He wasn't physically able to fight off what he knew was coming and it terrified him. The pieces were falling in to place. 

"Mmm." Turn Shen groaned, leaning down and pressing his lips to Dean's, licking into his mouth forcefully with a smokey extension to James’ tongue. "Mm, mm, mm. The one in here-" He tapped the side of James' head. "He wanted to do this to you, you know? Was thinking about that cock replica, these big pink lips." He bit at Dean's bottom lip, piercing into the tender skin underneath the flesh of his lip with pin like teeth. Instantly Dean could feel the venom course into him, flooding his system with uncomfortable, uncontrollable arousal. Shit. 

"You know what I do, Dean? Why those men die? They come to me wanting something to make their pathetic sex lives better, and I give it to them. I make them have what they want, and then I give them a little kiss. Just like the one I gave you." He purred, fingers moving free from Dean's throat at last and down his body, across his chest and to his jeans. He quickly undid them, stripping the pants and underwear beneath away with natural ease before shoving Dean's thighs open with a smirk. Fingers dug into the tender skin of Dean’s pale, slightly freckled thighs, forcing Dean to expose himself to the night air. "They were pathetic, weak little men. Too fat, or too old, or too ugly. No one wanted to fuck them. But you…" The monster cackled, dragging nail down his thighs. "You are a masterpiece. I don't have to do anything but take, take, take from you."

Dean head lolled to the side, eyes going glassy as his body became quickly overheated. His limbs felt heavy and weak, his head fuzzy with the drug coursing through his system. He could feel arousal burn through his system, making him hard against his will as his body gave up its fight naturally. He tried to move, but his limbs wouldn’t cooperate, and he was still pinned. All he managed was his head flopping over to the side as he fought to keep his gaze focused and clear.

"So pliant. I love it." The creature cackled, rucking up Dean's shirt to his armpits, exposing his scarred, toned chest with a pleased lick of his lips. He wrapped his hands around Dean's hips and lifted them easily around his own, undoing James' pants to expose his flushed length and the bead of pre-cum on it's tip. "You're such a pretty thing. This sort of look suits you so well, all flushed and submissive." Without any warning or preparation the creature pressed James' leaking length into Dean's body, sliding in forcefully to the base in one go, ignoring the clench of Dean’s body.

A broken sob escaped Dean’s throat at the pain of the intrusion, the feeling of blood slipping down his thighs unsettling as he twisted helplessly beneath the demi-god's weight, eyes closing as shame flooded him and burned into his needy body. The pain of the penetration soothed a burn in his blood and made him whimper at the need he felt coursing through him. So that's what this was, a fuck or die venom. Maybe worse. Maybe a fuck and die venom. It was one of the few things Dean had always prayed and hoped was just a sick twisted story. The contradiction in his body was repulsive as the venom made him want to beg for the touch, for more, but the trauma of his mind wanted him to claw the thing wearing James' face's eyes out. 

"Yes, Dean. Perfect." The monster moaned, thrusting recklessly into the drugged form below. The effect of the venom made Dean's muscle loose, and pliant, easy for the monster to thrust into his unprepared body, not having to fight the clench of muscles fighting off the intrusion. It still hurt, though, it was still too much for his body to cope with, too rough in his dry hole. Without stopping the painful violation, it leaned down and sank teeth into Dean's chest around his nipple, flooding him with more venom as pin like teeth sank into him once more.

"N-no...no...stop...p-please..." Dean begged, feeling that fiery need intensify tenfold, his limbs trembling with overstimulation and need. "N-no more..." He panted, eyes burning with salty tears as his body betrayed him to this act of violation, making him need it more and more. It was too intense, blinding his senses as the penetrating weight shocked his system into wanting, needing, more, wanting the sick satisfaction of completion for this act. His body was begging to be filled, for the touch of human skin on his everywhere. It was agony to go without the brush of flesh on flesh, every point of contact with the other two humans’ skin making him need more. "P-please...stop..." His vision was whiting out from the pain, the burn in his veins too much. He would rather die from this venom than let this thing continue to use him. 

"Dean!" He heard a faint, desperate cry from the distance, maybe a block of two away. Sam. "Dean! Fuck. Dean!" 

"S-Sammy..." Dean groaned, forcing his eyes open, his vision blurry and wet. His pupils were blown to lust filled pools of black, his lashes fluttering as he tried desperately to focus on anything but the rocking motion of the body inside of him. "S-Sam!" He rasped, voice barely loud enough to catch. There was no way his brother was going to hear him like this, and it terrified him to think of Sam finding him like this, bleeding and pliant and just taking it against his will. 

"Shh, shh." Jame's cooed into his ear, rocking harder into Dean's bleeding body, despairingly brushing against the bundle of nerves that made his whole body spasm. "Don't you worry about anyone but me. I'm not done with you, Dean Winchester." Lips pressed in to Dean's mewling mouth again, tongue twisting and tasting and gliding the first dose of venom further across plump lips, over wet muscle, intoxicating Dean deeper under its spell as it mapped Dean’s unresponsive mouth. Pulling back with a wet pop, he chuckled darkly at the helpless look in Dean's eyes, the childlike despair and desperation. "I'll take care of that pesky brother of yours once I'm done with you." 

"Think again." Sam snarled suddenly from behind them, gun cocking and firing. Wet, hot blood splashed across Dean's body as the bullet split through the hunters skull. James' form twitched, golden light flaring through his bones before he collapsed on top of Dean, the man under his spell letting go of Dean’s arms suddenly as he collapsed over unconscious above Dean’s head.

The full body contact burned Dean, making him gasp as his body started overloading. It was too much, too hot, too unfulfilling. It was like flame licking against his skin, needles pressing into his skin all over, inside and out. The lack of movement was worse than before, the weight of the other man’s body inside him a weak relief to the burn as instant desperation flooded Dean. He’d wanted it to stop, but the fear of actually going insane, or burning up from the lack of finality in the act was making Dean pant and cry out as Sam came forward. 

“Shit, oh my god, Dean…” Sam sounded broken, eyes taking in the sight he’d stumbled on. When he’d escaped the binds in the warehouse, he’d expected the worse, but the scene he saw was not what he’d prepared for. Seeing his brother pinned there, with another man violating him made his stomach twist in disgust. He felt like he was going to be sick. The fact that Dean wasn’t moving though, besides these awful pained sobs panting out of him set Sam on instant alert. Something was wrong, more wrong than just the fact that there was a man’s dick up his brother’s bloody ass. 

“Dean, jesus christ…” He skidded over to Dean’s side, shoving the now dead hunter and demi-god off of his brother, gagging a little at the pained cry it wretched from Dean as the still erect dick slipped from his abused body, dragging a stream of red with it as Sam pushed the dead weight away.

“Oh god.” Dean gasped helplessly, body shaking uncontrollably as the contact disappeared. His body was going into shock and withdrawal as the venom surged through him desperate for touch, for attention. 

Sam’s hand settled on Dean’s shoulder when the older man didn’t immediately look to him. Dean’s eyes shot open and he let out a despairing wail, jerking away with the strength of a child learning to walk, managing to put two feet of distance between them as he curled over onto his side, guarding his body from being seen as desperate pants fell from his swollen lips. “D-don’t touch me. D-don’t….j-just don’t...fuck...f-fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck.” Dean cursed over and over, terrible little sobs escaping him as he tried to handle to overload of sensation in his body. He felt feverish, out of his mind. He didn’t even want to think about the aftermath of this, the physical pain radiating from his ass. Everything hurt, and the thought of anyone touching him right now was appalling, but he needed it. He needed it so bad, and the contrasting needs was making him nauseous. 

“Dean, I have to help you...you’re hurt. You’re...J-jesus, man, you’re bleeding. I gotta help.” Sam begged, wanting to reach for Dean and wrap him up in his arms. He had to get Dean back to the motel, now, had to get him to the impala at least. They were in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the sidewalk, at least one dead body on the ground. And Dean had just been raped. The words bounced back and forth in Sam’s mind wildly. Dean’d been raped. In the middle of the street. His big brother had been raped.

“I-I can’t, Sam. S-shit. Shitshitshit.” Dean arched, body twisting as muscle spasms ripped through him. His eyes flared open and he stared at Sam with fear in his eyes. That’s when Sam saw it, the ring of green so small in Dean’s eyes it was frightening. He looked fuck out, flushed, and so damn pretty with his lips parted on a desperate pant. “D-drugged, Sammy. C-can’t touch me. N-Need the touch too bad...can’t...can’t let you touch me...not my brother. C-can’t.” His body twitched against the pavement, sweat beading on his face as he tried to keep himself curled into a tight ball on the ground, hiding the shame of his body’s arousal, the bite mark on his chest. His legs were quaking uncontrollably against the ground, and Sam could read the bruises forming all across Dean’s body like the sin of what happened was being printed on his skin for Sam to read for a second time. And the blood, christ, the blood dripping down Dean’s thighs, the mess of his jeans thrown out of the way. 

“Dean. I have to. I can’t leave you like this…” Sam rasped, knowing it might hurt a little to move Dean, but he had to. He had to get him in a shower, or bath or something. “What am I supposed to do, Dean?” 

Dean’s eyes scrunched shut again as a despairing moan rippled from him, fresh tears tracking his flushed cheeks. “I-I c-can’t, Sammy. I can’t...I need it, I-I need it. Make it stop, please god. Make it s-stop.” 

Sam couldn’t take it at that, lurching forward towards Dean. He grabbed the fabric of Dean’s hitched up shirt and forced it down to cover Dean’s chest as he tried not to touch Dean’s skin, grabbing the discarded jeans and slinging them over his arm as he reached for Dean. He slid Dean’s bruised, swollen looking knees over his jean covered arm, using the other around Dean’s back to heft him up, off the ground. Dean wailed, grabbing desperately at the fabric of Sam’s shirt, twisting helplessly against him. 

“N-no! Sammy! N-no...” Dean tried to plead, but Sam wasn’t going to leave Dean there like that. He practically ran back to the car, getting them inside as fast as possible and racing them to the motel ten minutes away. Dean was writhing and twisting in the passenger seat, body arching and stretching trying to find relief as the venom overtook him, sweat pouring from him and mixing with the blood splashed across his chest and face, and drying in rivulets on his thighs. Shit. Every time Sam looked at Dean he could see more bruising, more blood, more spasms. 

“We’re almost there, Dean. Hold on. I’ll figure something out, I promise.” He said more to himself than Dean. Without the length filling Dean, pushing into him and the contact of skin on his, the venom was getting worse, raging through his veins like fire. He felt sick, delirious, like he was boiling from the inside. It was humiliating and terrifying. 

“S-Sammy. N-need it to stop. Make it stop.” He groaned, head thrashing against the seat cushion. He curled into the door, trying to cover himself up and find relief all at once, the cool panel of glass against his heated face the smallest of reliefs. 

Sam pulled into the motel parking lot with a screech, parking as fast as he could before he was moving to the passenger door and taking Dean in his arms again, using a blanket from the back seat to cover him up as he carried him from the car to the door and got him inside. He bypassed the beds to get Dean to the bathroom, setting his brother’s shaking form in the cold ceramic tub. The cool touch helped sooth Dean a little, but hardly more than the window had. He was burning up all over, and he couldn’t think straight. Sam had no doubt he had a fever, he could read it in the pain of Dean’s face. 

The rush of cold water over his skin was a shocking relief and Dean let out a helpless mewl as the shower spray starting hitting him. Sam’s hands peeled his ruined shirt off, trying his best not to physically touch his brother’s skin without caring of the mess he’d have to clean up later with the shower curtain not drawn and water splashing down his own front. Once the shirt was off he could properly see the damage. There were two small holes on his brother’s lower lip and two around his nipple, swollen and red. Dean’s eyes were glassy and unfocused and he couldn’t hold himself up, body falling back bonelessly into the cool touch of ceramic as the cold water eased some of his physical ache. Sam just let the water stream over him, grabbing a washcloth from the towel rack and soaking it in the water before lathering it with soap, reaching for his brother’s body. He needed to get him clean, at least. There was blood in his hair, and clinging to his flushed cheeks. He took a shaky breath and went for it, going for Dean’s chest first. He scrubbed quickly, wiping away the blood even as Dean’s gasp jolted him to the core, making his skin crawl with fear. The look of crazed need in Dean’s eyes flared up again at the contact, even with the fabric in between, so Sam scrubbed quick, knowing Dean wouldn’t mind the pain as long as he got this done. His eyes danced down to Dean’s legs and he let out a small sob of his own, seeing the angry arousal dripping between his brothers trembling thighs, the bruises painting his pale skin, and the tracks of blood everywhere. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry Dean.” He sobbed as he went for deftly wiping away the blood between his legs with a clinical detachment, biting hard into his lip to ignore the wails his touch drew from Dean. When at last Sam had got the basics of the blood washed away, he knew he had to do something for Dean. It was easy enough to piece together the facts as to what was happening, but the very real fact that Dean was burning up from the venom that demanded he be fucked was just wrong. He’d just been raped, and Sam needed to find something to sooth that ache in Dean’s body before it was too late, and without hurting him further. 

Desperately reaching for his phone in his pocket he called the first person he could think of. Cas.

“Hello, Sam.” 

“Cas,” Sam breathed into the phone, jerking at the sudden weight of Dean’s desperate eyes on him at the sound of that name. There was uncontained lust, need, and desperation in that look. Hunger. “I need your help.” He rasped into the phone, unable to look away from Dean’s face as he tracked the conversation in his drugged out stage. Dean looked downright pornographic, wet and flushed, arching with the need for someone to touch him. “Now.” 

“Where are you? I don’t have much power left, but I can come to you.” He said into the phone, hearing the fear in Sam’s tone.

Sam swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat. “North Carolina. U-uhm.” He wracked his brain for the name of the city, relaying it to Cas and their location in the motel once he could get his brain functioning again. Before the last of his words were out of his mouth, there was a flutter of wings behind him.

Sam twisted around to see Cas as he opened blue eyes on to the site before him. God, Sam did not want to know what this must look like to the celestial being. It was wrong on so many levels, weird on too many more. “Cas.”

“Sam. What is wrong with Dean?” His voice was a low gravel tone as blue eyes took in the battered, wet form staring at him. The intensity of those eyes has shifted from Sam to Castiel and the weight of them was staggering. Sam didn’t know how Castiel could keep a straight face with the weight of that gaze on him. Dean’s mouth had fallen open to a greedy pant as his brain latched on to memories of comfort from Castiel. Memories of emotions Dean was always to scared to act on because he didn’t want to ruin the angel more than he had. Loving a Winchester just spelled death, and Dean didn’t want to curse Cas. Not Cas. 

“The demi-god Turn Shen.” Sam whispered, jerking to stand up and get out of Castiel’s way as he stepped closer to the tub, to Dean who was scrabbling weakly in the tub to sit up and reach for Castiel. His muscles were baby weak, though, and he could barely think past the primal need to be filled. “H-he r-raped Dean…” 

Castiel eyes turned stormy as he sat on the edge of the tub, reaching for Dean before Sam could get the rest of the information out of his mouth. His hand settled on Dean’s wet cheek, and within seconds Dean’s hands were scrambling for Castiel’s trench coat, pulling him closer as he arched upwards, shoving his wet body against whatever he could reach of Castiel, lips parting on a desperate moan as he pulled, trying to bring Cas down closer so he could get the relief he needed from him. 

“Shit! Cas, cas...fuck. C-can’t touch him. He’s drugged out of his mind.” Sam stared in disbelief, face going red at the pornographic moan that rattled from Dean at the contact. Shit. Maybe Castiel wasn’t a good idea. Dean might honestly love this blue eyed angel, and seeing him after being drugged out of his mind with arousal could ruin what ever this was between them so easily. 

Castiel squinted down at Dean, not letting go as he took everything in with calm patience. He glanced back at Sam finally with a blank face. “If he doesn’t find relief he will die.” 

Sam’s heart sputtered to a halt and he paled, staring at his brother and the angel. “C-cas, he’s hurt. Jesus christ...h-he can’t…” He floundered on what to say, completely useless.

“Sam Winchester.” Castiel said with a soft sigh, expression looking suddenly pinched as Dean whined for him to give him more, to touch more, please cas, please, as he pressed his wet face into the side of Castiel’s thigh on the tub edge. “I need you to get another room. I can help Dean, but it will take a while, and will be…awkward.” He looked to Dean again as the hunter grasped at him desperately, trying to will his trembling body to grab, to move, to take what it needed. “I will take care of him. I promise. I will not hurt him.”

Sam blinked at Castiel, taking it all in. Castiel looked serious, eyes pained but gentle. He nodded weakly, voice gone as he backed up pathetically. If any one could help Dean, Cas was it. “J-just...fuck. Please, just save him.” He begged before turning and fleeing the bathroom. 

With the faint thud of the motel door opening and closing, Castiel turned to look at Dean properly, sighing softly as those pupil blown eyes stared up at him desperately. “Dean.” He whispered out, stroking his thumb across Dean’s cheek, causing the hunter to mewl with need. 

“C-cas, please.” He begged, weak fingers grasping uselessly at Castiel’s clothes as he tried to pull himself up or Castiel down. “O-only one I trust...please...m-make it stop…” He rasped, tears mingling into the water still hitting him with icy pellets. 

“Oh, Dean Winchester.” Castiel breathed in disbelief, reaching to turn off the water with a painful twist to his heart. He reached for a towel and wrapped it around Dean’s shaking form before lifting him from the tub and carrying him to a bed. He laid Dean out gently, drying him off slightly before the grasping hands returned, begging for contact, body desperate. 

“C-cas.” Dean rasped, fingers reaching up to weakly paw at Castiel’s face, finding the curls of his hair and digging into the thick locks. He pulled with hesitant fingers, eyes shadowed with fear, with need, with want. “I-I’m sorry C-cas.” 

“Sh, shh.” Cas leaned down and pressed his forehead to Dean’s, giving the other male a gentle surge of relief. “This is not your fault.” He pressed a hand to Dean’s cheek and thumbed over Dean’s bottom lip, inspecting the damage carefully. The pricks were already healed most of the way, their only purpose meant to inject the venom. “I’m going to take care of you, Dean. The best I can. I apologize in advance if I hurt you at all. It is not my intention.” He wiped away a stream of tears from his hunter’s cheeks. 

“T-trust you.” Dean rasped, shaking beneath Castiel, body arching in desperate need as his fingers scrambled across Cas’ scalp and neck to his shoulders, seemingly not sure where to settle, the need too intense in him. 

Castiel leaned down the barest of inches, pressing his lips softly to Dean’s as he shifted his weight on the bed, wrapping on arm around Dean’s lower back gently, the other gliding along the junction of neck and shoulder, caressing lightly to ease the ache. It helped Dean’s head level out a little, the burn receding. He still felt delirious, out of sorts, but he knew what this meant. This kiss, and he poured everything he could into it, not just because the drug begged him to, but because it had been so long, so many years with this painful weight in his chest and now he was getting a taste. And what a taste it was. Castiel tasted like ozone and rain, like dew on the grass, and sweet like honey. Dean vaguely recalled the taste of honeysuckles and would have smiled into the kiss if his tongue wasn’t trying to fuck it’s way into the wet heat desperately. Castiel tasted like nature and open skies, and heaven. 

Cas pulling away was like being shocked, his system demanding more, his mind reeling. “C-Ca…” He couldn’t even speak anymore, too gone. He blinked desperately up at the blue eyed man, panting for breath.

“I’m here, Dean.” He caressed Dean’s cheek lightly again before sitting up, away from Dean. “You are still human, you need to breath.” He smiled gently,  kiss abused lips quirked up just a little before his expression fell into one of intense concentration, eyes roaming down Dean’s abused body laid out beneath him naked and flushed and writhing. “I should have come sooner…” His hand slid down Dean’s chest to brush the second bite wound, thumb rolling the bud of his nipple with such care Dean was blinded for a moment with his love for this angel. Even now he was being so tender and so perfect it ached deep in Dean’s chest. “I’m sorry, Dean. He hurt you so badly and I can’t even heal the wounds for you.” His voice was low and mournful. 

“D-doesn’t m-m-matter.” Dean rasped, his voice a ragged thing coming from his throat. “Y-you’re here.” He panted, fingers scrabbling uncoordinatedly to grab on to Cas’ wrist and hold his hand, bringing it up with both of his to his face, pressing his cheek into it and closing his eyes at the relief. “Y-you came back.” His whole body shook and he bit off a desperate wail as the pain shot through his body. He ached, everywhere ached, especially his torn hole, and he was scared. This wasn’t supposed to be how this went, how he and Cas finally got together. Hot tears rushed suddenly down his cheeks as sudden childlike despair washed through him. He sobbed, big desperate shaking breaths as he turned his head away to hide his face in his and Cas’ hands.

“Oh!” Castiel startled, thinking the sobs were from the venom's heat ruining his body. He quickly reached with his free hand to his chest, unbuttoning the white shirt on his chest to open it to expose his own skin, leaning down to press the skin to Dean’s own. The relief was instantly welcoming, the poison in Dean’s system reacting to the touch of skin on his. A shaky gasp shuddered from his mouth as the touch soothed him. Castiel didn’t stop there, moving his hand from Dean’s grasp when his fingers went slack, quickly shucking his own clothes until suddenly he was naked on the bed with Dean, big blue eyes uncertain but determined as he lay on his side and pulled Dean in to spoon against his chest, lean arms wrapping around Dean’s middle as he pulled him back carefully, his chin hooking over Dean’s shoulder as he pressed a kiss to the curve of his neck. “It’s okay, Dean. I got you.” 

The relief that flooded through Dean was instantly obvious, his body going slack as he was gently manhandled into place, the shakes subsiding slightly at the full body contact against his own. He let out a weak moan of relief, eyes fluttering closed, even though his body still needed. Just being held was ten thousand times better than not being touched at all. And knowing the form behind him was someone safe, someone trusted made him go limp. “C-Cas…” 

Castiel’s fingers soothed down Dean’s side, caressing him like a seasoned lover, his touch firm but comforting, and it felt like poetry against Dean’s desperate skin. “Dean.” He whispered in a low, serious voice against the back of his ear, tickling that spot that made Dean melt. “Your body is damaged still.” He said it with a pained worry, fingers caressing his hip as he said it. “But if I do not enter you then this relief from touch will only be temporary. I do not wish to hurt you, though.” 

“W-way t-to w-woo a g-guy c-cas.” Dean let out on a weak broken chuckle, terror coursing through him at the thought of being full again. The pain wasn’t even the part that worried him, it was the image that flashed into his mind of that other man ruining him, taking this part of him he’d never shared with anyone. Violating. Taking without permission something Dean had never wanted to give anyone but the man now trying to help. Twisted, it was all so twisted, and it terrified Dean. This wasn't supposed to be how his first time with Cas went. 

“Dean, I am being serious.” 

“I-I know, C-cas.” Dean panted, forcing his muscle weak arm to move over his side and reach back for Castiel, touching the bare skin of his hip. Cas, naked, on the bed with him. And Dean couldn’t even enjoy it. Not how he wanted to. He’d imagined long fingers stretching him open, lube slick, making him pant and moan as he ravaged Castiel mouth and showed him how good sex could be. He’d imagined riding Castiel like the cowboys he’d always harbored a slight kink for, eagerly rolling his hips into every movement. He would even rather give a really sloppy, lousy blowjob than this. Because his body hurt, and his mind wanted to betray him to the horror of being raped. With blind determination he reached back and between them, grabbing Castiel’s length with a detached will. He worked the barely hard length to full mast and then without a word to or from Castiel he guided the flushed length to his abused hole, pressing it in. He hissed as the tip caught on his rim and spread him wide again, the ache unsettling in every way. He had to stamp down a sudden surge of panic as he felt himself opening again, his body refusing to understand this was meant to help as he started nearly hyperventilating. Castiel pushed his hips in all the way, suddenly, filling Dean as his arms wrapped suddenly tight around his form, twisting their legs together as Castiel pressed kisses all along Dean’s shoulder, across the side of his again wet cheeks, and along the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry, Dean, I am so sorry.” He rubbed gently at Dean’s chest, in small circles as he allowed Dean’s body to adjust. It was twitching, spasming around him, clenching and unclenching on the length that shot terror through his mind. He gasped and twisted and tried to fight it even though he knew it was just meant to help. He wanted Cas, loved him desperately, but he was terrified. He felt weak, and childlike and vulnerable. Raw. And he wanted this over. If it weren’t for the venom forcing his body into arousal he’d be limp as a wet noodle. Instead his own cock twitched with interest, reacting to the weight of something inside of him. It eased an ache in him that only made Dean panic more. He wanted Cas, he did, he really did, but not like this, not ever like this. Not when he couldn’t even control his own limbs, his own arousal. It was humiliating, shameful and reminded him too much of Hell. The fact that he was so drugged out and needing more just made him want to be sick. 

“Dean, Dean, I know it hurts, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but you need to breath. Calm down, please. I don’t want to hurt you.” Castiel’s low gravel rough voice soothed Dean’s wild mind, easing him down a little bit with its familiarity. He sucked in a despairing breath and nodded shakily, forcing himself to breath in big lungfuls before shuddering them out. 

“It will be okay, Dean.” Castiel kissed at his skin again, gently, body still behind Dean’s, ever patient. “I promise.” He laced his fingers with Dean’s and brought them up to his shoulder, kissing the trembling digits gently one by one until Dean calmed further. 

“S-s-sorry C-cas, s-sorry.” Dean whimpered, beyond caring what he sounded or looked like. This was too much, all of it too much. He was allowed to react like a wounded animal, because essentially he was. He had no control of himself. “I-I’m okay.” He lied, refusing to turn to look at Cas or open his eyes. His body spasmed a little more, shuddering tremors of panic and shock making him twitchy. “I-I’m okay.” He had to be strong, had to get through this. He wasn’t some damn girl, some child. He hissed at himself mentally. He was a hunter. Dean Winchester. He’d been to Hell. He wasn’t supposed to be having panic attacks of being raped when he’d been through so much worse. 

“Never apologize for feeling afraid, Dean.” Castiel’s gravelly voice was the only thing grounding Dean in reality right now. “You are human, and beautiful and allowed to feel pain and fear. You do not have to be strong about this, Dean. I know it hurts, I know this is not okay. I am sorry that keeping you alive depends on this.” He gripped Dean tight, suddenly, shifting his hips. It was like instant liquid fire burst through Dean, his body going slack to allow the desperate need for friction, for sexual relief, even as his heart stuttered into panicked overdrive. “I am sorry.” Castiel sounded devastated as he took up his sudden assault on Dean’s body, rocking into him so that every thrust brushed his prostate. The going was rough, sore, and it hurt like hell for Dean, his body dry and the only lube still being the small trickles of blood. 

Castiel was mechanical, pumping his hips in and out steadily, filling that burning need in Dean’s blood. His cock twitched against his belly, precum dripping down his length as his need skyrocketed. It hurt, he wanted to scream and panic but his body was relaxing into the violation like it was the most natural thing in the world. He moaned, writhing against Cas as his fingers scrambled for purchase, his eyes dilated to the extreme. He couldn’t see past the glaze of need, the pain disappearing suddenly as Castiel’s fingers wrapped around his cock and pulled. His body refused to give in, venom forcing his arousal to extreme levels but he couldn’t come, and it sent his twitching nerves into overdrive. 

There was no way a normal human would be able to handle giving Dean the constant stimulation the venom demanded. Castiel wasn’t a normal human though, and he pumped and flexed his hips so he kept up constant stimulation for Dean, pace unwavering as he touched Dean, lips a gentle reminder that it would be okay as they caressed his flushed, sweating skin. Dean had no clue how long they were like that, how long it took for the venom to finally give in and let him find relief, milking his orgasm from his painfully sensitive dick. His cum splattered his belly and dripped down Castiel’s fingers, and he sank into the mattress bonelessly. He only needed one more thing, one last thing the venom demanded. Castiel slid out of Dean most of the way, stilling suddenly before wiping Dean’s release across his length and pushing back in slowly, rocking his hips in tiny movements with the added lube easing the ache for Dean the smallest amount. 

Cas curled in close to Dean, pressing his face into Dean’s skin as he let out a little whine of his own, finally coming inside Dean’s desperate channel. The wet feel of cum in his ass made Dean’s head spin, but his body relax, the venom flushing out of him in small shakes of his body. He was so exhausted, and his body was shutting down fast now that it found it’s relief both through his and Cas’ orgasm and through the end of the venom’s hold on him. He tried to keep his eyes open, to say something to Castiel before he passed out but he couldn’t control it, eyes fluttering shut as his body gave up.

He slept, and he slept and his mind was too numb to produce nightmares for once. When he woke his body was wiped clean, loose sweatpants pulled around his sore legs and hips, and a loose teeshirt (probably Sam’s from the slightly bigger than normal fit) covered him, he was laying on his chest, head buried between a nest of pillows, with several layers of blankets around him that kept him toasty warm. He struggled to blink his eyes open, noticing the light from the table side lamp, hearing the soft tap of keys on a keyboard. His eyes opened in a blur, struggling to focus. He felt limp and heavy and sore everywhere. Shifting to test the pain of his hips caused him to bite down a moan of pain as his stomach protested instantly, a hand darting up to cover his mouth as he gagged suddenly, bile burning his throat as he tried to will himself not to vomit across the bed. 

He didn’t hear or see anyone move, but soon there was a trashcan being held under his mouth and he grabbed the edge of it with his wet hand that had covered his mouth and let the bile choke its way from his throat as his body convulsed and shook. It was a good five minutes before he was coherent enough to lift his head, blinking sluggishly up at the man sitting at the edge of the bed, petting at his hair softly. Cas’ eyes were pained, ringed with guilt. Dean’s defenses instantly rose and he shakily forced the trashcan to the floor before he knocked it over, wiping his hand on a damp washcloth on the nightstand before turning to Castiel with fire in his eyes.

“No.” He rasped.

Cas flinched back as though struck, face paling as he looked from Dean with big, shocked eyes down to his lap with horror etching his eyes. He sucked in a sharp breath, fisting his fingers on his lap. The sound of keys clacking went silent and Dean could feel Sam’s eyes on his back as he stared at Castiel. 

“No.” Dean said again, forcefully, his voice raw and hoarse. He reached out clumsily for Castiel’s hands and grabbed one, yanking it towards him despite the pain in his muscles at moving. “You are not allowed to f-feel guilty, d-damn it.” Dean grit out, breath shaking from him. “T-this is not y-your fault.” He pulled his own body up and towards Cas, the blankets causing some struggle as he latched on to his middle, pressing his face into Cas’ chest as he clung to him. “You d-didn’t do anything w-wrong.” He grit out, body taking up its trembling again from his forced movements. 

“Dean…” Cas’ voice was broken, despairing sounding as he hesitated to touch his friend, as if he thought he wasn’t allowed to anymore. “I hurt you. You…”

“No.” Dean snarled. “Fuck that.” He hissed into Cas’ chest. “That did not count. It didn’t count. I won’t let it. As far as I’m concerned it never happened.” He growled, forcing the horror of the situation out of his mind as he clung to the only thing keeping him sane right now. 

“Dean…”

“No, Cas!” Dean snapped, jerking back suddenly so he could look up at Cas, the movement making him nearly topple over from agony ripping through his muscles. He gasped at the burn of pain, swaying as his eyes glazed as his vision whited out slightly. Castiel’s arms were instantly around him, wrapping tight as he rubbed at Dean’s back. It took Dean a while to realize the small shakes weren’t just from him.

Letting out a breathy, weak sigh, he pressed his head into Castiel’s neck and sank into his arms. “I-I won’t let you blame yourself for helping me, Cas. I-I won’t.” He pressed a weak, fluttery kiss to the skin beneath his lips, remembering the gentle press from Castiel’s on his own skin however long ago. “I won’t because I love you, you stupid idiot. I really, really do, and I can’t let this ruin us when we haven’t even started.” He confessed, not caring if Sam was there to overhear. The giant knew anyways. Dean could see it in Sam’s eyes when he tried to hide his reactions to Cas, when he tried to talk to him about the pain and betrayals of their pasts. He had seen it when Sam tried to get him to stop drinking after Dean’d thought Cas was gone. Cas had always been more than just a friend, a best friend. Dean had let Castiel take his heart without even realizing, couldn’t deny it worth a damn. He had fallen hard and fast and completely, and every time he lost Cas it felt like dying, it felt like abandonment. He couldn’t let Cas run from this too. It had been too much for them both, but Dean wouldn’t lose Cas over this. 

He barely even realized he was crying as he clung to Cas now, his voice coming out in a desperate sob. “I-I can’t lose you, Cas. Not again.” 

Across the room, Sam stared at the sight on the bed in disbelief, his heart breaking just a little bit more for his brother. Everything they’d been through, and this might very well be the straw that broke Dean’s back. He’d always been teetering on the edge severe depression and suicidal tendencies, but he’d always put on a bravado, a face for the world around him. He always got back up and ignored his own needs. Seeing Dean cling so desperately to Castiel even as he lay there battered and bloody and violated twisted Sam’s heart a little more. He wiped at his face to stop the tears as he looked past the physical strength of Dean and saw into the wounded soul of him. He was tattered and broken, sewn back together so many times Sam wondered how Dean had made it this far. He wondered how Dean could still hold so much love inside of him. For Sam, for Cas, for everyone he’d lost. 

“I-I can’t do this without you.” Dean rasped out, tears unashamedly drenching his cheeks. “I can’t. You can’t leave. Please.” Dean didn’t care that he was begging. He was too emotionally fucked up to care right now, too raw, too desperate. “I need you.” He rasped, shaking hard as he fell apart.

“Oh, Dean.” Cas sighed out in disbelief and awe. He gently cupped Dean’s cheeks, lifting his shattered expression so their eyes could meet. “I’ve never wanted to leave you, Dean Winchester.” He said firmly, tracking the years of pain, of repressed feelings and shame in those eyes. “I fell for you and I would fall for you again a thousand times. I would lay siege to Hell alone to try and reach you. You are precious to me, Dean. The first human to make me truly understand the wonders of my father’s creations. The moment I laid eyes on your soul in Hell I felt emotion for the first time. I understood horror and pain and desperation. And it took me too long to realize I felt more, I felt desire, and inspiration and love.” He leaned in and pressed a careful kiss to Dean’s lips, the bottom one still swollen looking from it’s abuse. “You shone so brightly in that dark place, so beautifully. You gave me faith. And seeing you for the first time with human eyes...I-I had no words. No idea how to name the emotions I felt. I felt pride. Pride for the life in your eyes, the defiance. Pride in myself for having put you back together. My one and only masterpiece.” He smiled softly, eyes crinkling as he looked into Dean’s wonder filled green eyes. “I fell for you.” His lips quirked lopsidedly for a moment. “In every way possible.” He wiped tears from Dean’s face. “You gave me family. Friends.” He glanced to Sam quickly before blue fastened to green once more. “I will give you my life, Dean, my heart, my broken grace. Anything, everything. All you ever have to do is ask.” 

Dean’s breath shuddered from him as he looked into the oceans of blue of his friends eyes. Ancient yet young. Naive and hopeful, filled with wonder. Barely human, barely angel. Too good for Dean, yet here he was reciting poetry of emotions without understanding how beautiful his words were to Dean’s aching heart. The recovery for what happened may take weeks, months even, but Dean didn't care, couldn't even begin to think about that now as he was held so gently and firmly and protectively in those arms. 

Dean reached up a shaky hand and cupped Cas’ cheek, leaning in to press his lips to Castiel’s in a slow, passionate kiss. It felt like kissing a star, like falling into cotton. He pulled away with a breathy sigh moments later to whisper the only words that mattered, “All I want is you.”


End file.
